The Difference Between “You” and Me

“You” sparks the curiosity of psychopaths and sociopaths in this emotional thriller

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Credits to Netflix & Lifetime

While Joe portrays himself to be an old fashioned romantic soul, he’s your classic everyday psychopath. But why is he labeled as a crazy killer? He cares and will do anything for love, is that so bad? `

Alyssa Bailey, Co-Editor-in-Chief

With new TV shows and movies on the rise this year, one show, in particular, has brought not only popularity but a psychological discussion of our humanity to the media. Ever heard of “You”? And I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about the hit show revolving around a quiet bookstore clerk, also known as Joe Goldberg.

Predominantly, the show centers around Joe, played by Penn Badgley, and is a narrative told from his perspective, which allows audiences to hear and understand exactly what Joe is thinking. Through that, it becomes evident that Joe’s a bit different compared to the average person. While Joe portrays himself to be an old fashioned romantic soul, he’s your classic everyday psychopath. But why is he labeled as a crazy killer? He cares and will do anything for love, is that so bad? 

“I think for him [Joe], people are thinking he’s doing all of this just for one person and a lot of people wish someone would go to the extremes for them. Now that he’s actually going to these extremes, people are having that reality to think about. It’s almost like, ‘be careful what you wish for,’” sophomore Kat Gniatkowski said.

It’s no secret as to why casting directors chose to pick Penn Badgley to play the role as Joe Goldberg; he’s charming, attractive, and an enigma. Joe preys on the innocence of women, reverting to their more compassionate and caring nature as he tries to depict that he’s in desperate need of help – almost like “a wounded child.”

It also doesn’t help that the women Joe goes after are women that spend their whole lives being told what to do by parents, teachers, friends, etc. and “associating with these ‘bad boys’ is just a form of rebellion – he often tells her that she should make her own choices and be her own person.” This is a clear indication of manipulation as he tries to tell these women to be independent, yet control them into what he wants them to do.

“The main ‘tools’ of psychopaths/sociopaths are the charismatic charm, ability to lie, and their cunning and manipulative nature. Other traits that can serve them well if we are discussing a psychopathic killer is their inability to feel remorse and empathy, poor behavioral and impulse control, and the fact that they will not take responsibility for their actions,” criminal justice teacher, Mr. D’Antonio, said.

Within the premiering of the first season in 2018, viewers have found themselves falling for Joe as it seems almost impossible not to. From his rationalized thoughts to his charisma, audiences couldn’t help themselves embarking on his journey to find what he calls “love.” 

“Killing people because of someone you love isn’t justified, there are other means of connecting with someone instead of getting to that point,” Gniatkowski said.

Mr. D’Antonio, who’s taught criminal justice for four years now, further describes the animosity behind psychopaths and sociopaths and their glorification in society.

“I know that glorifying any action is going to cause more of that action to take place.  As a case in point, because of the way the media saturates coverage of mass shootings, experts believe that there will be one or two more within a week because it is glorified. I don’t see how glorifying serial killers wouldn’t do the same type of thing,” D’Antonio said.

“Attraction” is a funny concept, and it’s one of the most important utilities people use to find a partner. It’s, of course, the first trait you look at when you see someone. But, can attraction be a dangerous trick on the eye?

The main ‘tools’ of psychopaths/sociopaths are the charismatic charm, ability to lie, and their cunning and manipulative nature. Other traits that can serve them well if we are discussing a psychopathic killer is their inability to feel remorse and empathy, poor behavioral and impulse control, and the fact that they will not take responsibility for their actions,

— Mr.D'Antonio

“I think Joe is really attractive and it goes right back to how Zac Efron played Ted Bundy. During the 80s, Ted Bundy had fans, despite the crazy things he did, it’s like looks almost win you over because that’s the first thing you see about someone,” senior Nicole Krohn, former criminal justice student, said. “You don’t see the person that’s really on the inside. Even if you’re walking down the hallway and you see a good looking person, you don’t know anything about them until you actually have a conversation with them.” 

The psychological thriller raises the question, what is a psychopath/sociopath? And, what makes Joe the way he is? 

“A psychopath and sociopath are very similar and share many of the same traits (lack of remorse, impulsivity, lack of control, superficial, charismatic, self-interested, controlling, grandiose self-worth, etc).  The difference though is that a psychopath is born that way. There are actual neurological deficiencies in the brain whereas a sociopath is made by society and the experiences of their life,” Mr. D’Antonio said. “In fact, about 1% of all people are psychopaths and 10% of all people working on Wall Street are believed to be psychopaths, and about 4% of the general population are sociopaths.

As humans, we are curious by our nature and want to learn about things we don’t understand. Many people tend to be drawn to shows that play out fantasies that we have had in the past and many people have wanted to harm someone before but don’t actually do it so watching a show like “You” might provide the fantasy escape for a brief period.”

“You” captures such a powerful topic in today’s society and it derives on the curiosity of who these people are on the inside. After viewing the show, multiple teens, especially girls, are taking precautions to lock their doors and close their blinds to prevent meeting a Joe. At this point, it makes you wonder if we should be romanticizing these killers and how to prevent it from happening. It also makes you wonder, how well do you really know the people around you?