What happens as you walk through the halls? What do you see? You see kids laughing and making jokes, hanging out with their friends? Yes, you may see that, but I see you. You are the person that walks around waiting for someone to stop and ask, “are you okay?” You wait but no one does. 

Mental health plays a big part in life. If you’re mentally not okay, nothing about you is okay. Mental health issues are big, mental health awareness is something that everyone should know about. 

You may have your life all planned out, every single little detail made. Then life throws something unexpected your way. So many things you had planned out are gone, just flushed down the drain. You feel lost, helpless, confused thinking “why me?” 

I thought “why me” for a very long time. I thought “why is the world always against me?” I’ve been dealing with depression for years and for a while it got better but, here recently things started going downhill. The stress from just being a senior and responsibilities that came with it, to my job, to my home life. I was/am worried about graduating. Work; I work about six days a week and have no time to focus on school. Home; Home is not the best. There’s a lot of arguing and fighting and I don’t like it there but I love my parents so I stay. My parents expect me to help pay bills, help take care of my brothers, and help with groceries. And just all of this is a little too much. 

I struggle a lot with figuring out what is more important: work, school, or pleasing my parents? Not wanting to be a failure? Not letting myself down? What should I focus on more? The answer is simple, you. You focus on you. What makes you, you? What makes you happy? What can you do to please yourself enough to actually be happy without faking a single thing? My answer is simple; focus on what stresses me out most. Right now it’s school. So I break everything down from what I need to do to set a goal. If I meet that goal I reward myself with a break. Everything can be less complicated if you set goals and break it down. 

I know everyone goes through it. It just all depends on how you deal with it. And self-harm does not fix anything nor does it make it any better. And if it gets too bad, ask for help. You’re not weak for needing help, you’re not “attention seeking” when asking for help. I hope this story helped someone out of a dark place and I hope someone can relate to what I’m going through. I hope that this made someone realize that they’re not alone. 

If you are in dire need to talk to someone please call one of these numbers.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 

The Trevor Project: 866-488-7386 

Mental Health Hotline: 1-800-950-6264