Are soulmates real? That’s been a question since Shakespearean times. In fact, Shakespeare’s actually the reason I’m writing this. We started our Romeo and Juliet unit in English and that spiked the question, “Are soulmates real?” I began talking to my friends, and the majority of them told me that soulmates weren’t real, and they wanted to know why I believed in soulmates. So this story is for my friends, and anyone else who doesn’t understand why some people may believe in such a thing.

The Greeks believed in seven different types of love. The first was “Eros,” which is romantic love, the relationship you have with a significant other for example. The second was “Philia,” friendly love, the type of love you have for friends. The third was “Storge,” familial love, the bond you have with your parents or siblings. Fourth was “Agape,” love for anyone and everything. Fifth was “Ludus,” a flirtatious love, talking to and hitting on that person in your Biology class. Sixth was “Pragma,” a love that lasts forever, whether it’s romantic or platonic. And finally seventh, “Philautia,” a love for yourself.

I believe that soulmates are a type of love that lasts forever, much like “Pragma.” Soulmates are supposed to be these two people who are exactly what the other needs, and because of that it’s a love that lasts forever. There’s just one thing that I see differently about soulmates, they can change over time.

Now that may sound like the opposite of a soulmate, and I get that that’s confusing, but that’s just what I happen to believe. I believe that there is one person for you out in the world, however they may not be able to stay with you forever. 

Think of a wife whose husband has passed away and she’s now getting remarried. If he hadn’t died, he would/could have been her lifelong soulmate. However, he did die and that changed her, it prepared her, it set her on a path to meet this new guy, a guy that was meant to be with the ‘her’ emerging from this tragedy. He is this ‘new girl’s’ soulmate.

Now I’ve kind of just focused on “Eros” soulmates, but that’s not the only type of soulmate. There are “Philia” soulmates too. 

I have these two friends who are literal soulmates. The two of them will always be friends, like I can’t imagine a world without the two of them knowing each other. They were meant to be friends, and they will always be friends.

I think that sometimes two people can mistake “Philia” for “Eros.” They could be attracted to each other, and love each other for who each one is, but maybe it’s not quite “Eros.” Maybe they were only meant to be together as friends, not lovers. This mistake of “Philia” for “Eros,” is what I tend to believe leads to divorce rates. 

Freshman Noelle Wises’ biological parents are a great example of this. They divorced around the time her and her twin sister were 2-years-old. However, the two of them took no harm from the divorce, and stayed friends. In fact the four of them, Noelle, Lorelei, and both their bio-parents, went to see Les Mis over the past weekend (Jan. 21). That’s not the only time they’re around each other either; her mom, bio-dad and stepdad all get along, and go to trivia nights together. 

This relationship may have been “Eros” for a time, but both people grew, and that pushed them away from each other romantically. However, just because they don’t see each other that way, doesn’t mean that they can’t love each other as friends. Wise stated, “I think that my parents will always be friends. They have made it 14 years already.”

Relationships were meant to grow, and change. Sometimes that growth and change brings two people together, other times it will push them away. But being pushed away doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to be together, you could just be meant to be together in a different way.

So to my dear friends who don’t know how only one person could belong to one person, that’s not what I believe a soulmate is. I believe that a soulmate is unique to everyone, and that they can change over time. Soulmates are this concept that is complicated and simple all at the same time, they can be tricky, and maybe you’ll never find your immediate soulmate, but if you work at a relationship, and change to improve it, then overtime, I’m sure you can reach soulmate level.