The Mirror On the Wall: The Last Thing to Look Into

A story of how the mirror, and the harsh truth it reflects, affects us all in different ways


Loukya Vaka

Insecurities can overwhelm us all, so much so that you just wish you could escape what faces you in the mirror.

Loukya Vaka, Reporter

The mirror on the wall taunts. It urges you to look at it, to show you your reflection. To show you the last thing you want to see. The mirror on the wall is one you want to cover, for it holds all the truth that you don’t want to see, all the thoughts that you want to escape. It reflects what might as well be your worst enemy: yourself. The mirror on the wall may shatter, but that image constantly lives on, that image that can’t be erased, that image that shows you your worst when we all just wish we could just see the best.  

A mirror hangs up on the wall. A single piece of glass that somehow holds so much weight.  

My entire life, I was afraid. Afraid of the thoughts that would pound in my brain, jeering at me the thoughts of what others must be thinking. You’re not good enough, everyone hates everything that you are, don’t trust what someone says, who knows what their intentions are anyway. Maybe all of this bubbles down to this: why aren’t you good enough when everyone else is, why aren’t you better?

On the other hand, I’ve also been told that I am loved just as I am. I’ve been given the alleged comfort from others that beauty is the eye of the beholder, and everyone is beautiful in their own way. Maybe all of this bubbles down to this: you should think that you’re beautiful, self-depreciation isn’t that attractive anyway.

I’ve also been afraid of ever putting these thoughts out into the world. I’ve never been one to talk about the negative feelings that I have buried 6 feet under, with the pain being right next door. Instead, it might be more significant to talk about the real ailments to society, such as the increasing price of gas, or the tiny pockets that women have to endure. Maybe all of this bubbles down to this: anything would be more important to others than hearing the thoughts that made you curl up in bed at night, wishing for the impossible: that you would be someone else. 

It’s scary to accept yourself, as we’ve all seen, but what’s been glossed over is that it’s even scarier to stop hating on every aspect that isn’t to your standards. After all, how do we fight against the bully, when that’s our own mind? And, if you even think to stop for a moment, what if you fall even more behind?

What I do wish I knew when I was this young person who was so afraid of being who I was is that it’s okay to feel insecure. You’re not abnormal for finding things that you wish were different, for everyone has the capacity to be critical, whether that be of our surroundings or, especially, ourselves. Our insecurities are a part of us, and they help us understand the people we are and will be in the future. 

What I wish I knew was that loving your own person is not being perfect, nor is it being the best of the best. Loving yourself is simply being at peace with your own person, placing your own happiness above the other things that come along in life. 

I wish myself, and everyone else in this complicated world could say that they love everything that they are, that they’re satisfied with the looks they have, things they accomplish, and circumstances of their lives. If only it was that simple. It’s a tough road to get to satisfied security, and who knows when we’ll get there. The only thing we can control is being our own support and growing into our own skin more with each day. 

After all, when the world constantly moves and changes, who can dictate what’s finally “good enough” anyway? 

Maybe it all bubbles down to this: the mirror on the wall hangs with a premonition of fear and pain, but we have the power to let it speak for our present and future, or take control and stop ourselves from drowning under the weight of expectation. Instead, let’s all work to accept our flaws and, ultimately, love ourselves.

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