Relationships are some of the most important parts of a human life, and the relationships that a human makes can come in many different varieties such as romantic relationships, platonic ones, and even just acquaintances. The way a person defines a romantic relationship differs from person to person.
The way Will Quinney (10) defines it as “a real relationship should be a coexistence of two people who share the same thoughts and ideas, with a shared attachment towards one another based on interactions and not [just] physical appearance.”
Ideas and religions also play a part in relationships. Most people would date people with the same religion and ideas as them.
Most people would make it easier for themselves, but math teacher Caleb Stoddard makes it clear that you can always live with it. He explains how you “just need to put a little effort into it.
“It shouldn’t be something you base your relationship on, solely for somebody who shares those opinions,” Stoddard said. “Of course, it’s going to be easier if you share those values and moral standings.”
Differing ideas can also lead to other differences like how social media can affect your relationships.
“Social media can obviously have positive aspects but people only see that aspect of your relationship… they can comment on it too,” Mya Bridges (9) said. She talks about how social media just makes a “perfect” view of how a relationship should be. Just because a relationship is shown on social media does not mean that it is “perfect”, a perfect relationship can be defined in so many ways.
Defining a modern relationship is pretty hard since there are so many different “stages” of going into a relationship, and being in one. The “stage” at which a person actually thinks they’re in a romantic relationship is a problem regarding our generation’s thoughts on clarity.
“Lack of clarity can lead to lies and deception, or harmful activities between both people, or even just one; it’s never a good thing,” Quinney said. Clarity is important in any relationship, regardless of if it’s considered “modern” or not. The lack of clarity can also be a contributing cause in the lower marriage rates.
Currently in America, birth rates are already decreasing and marriage rates are dropping significantly. There are a multitude of reasons that this could be happening, but the main issue would most likely be the lack of clarity and communication. For example currently 1/4 of US 40-year-olds have never been married, a record high. This may not seem like the biggest issue, but this can lead to lack of birth rates; to have a successful country you have to have at least a 2.0 birth rate. The more people are noncommittal in their want to have kids, the more the rates will drop and the more our country’s quantity will go downhill.
Fewer than half of our 12th graders are going on dates in this current generation. From the 1980s to the 2020s, dating has dropped to 46%.
Modern-day relationships are so bad for us due to the fact that we lack true closeness and intimacy. It gives us a misconstrued ideology of how things actually work while we focus on the casual aspects rather than the more committed and intimate aspects of a relationship.
Real commitment early in a relationship can stunt the progression of it later on. Instead of growing away from your partner over time you should grow closer to them.
You should be more guarded in the beginning and more open later down the line. We focus so much on opening up immediately that we reform ourselves into an unhealthy space of over sharing and over communication to the point that we can get to overthinking or being super avoidant afterwards.
Another thing so normalized by this generation is messing around with multiple people instead of dedicating yourself to one person. The idea of hookup culture is so normalized, to the point it is embarrassing to our generation.
Outlying factors can also have an effect on modern-day relationships. For example your group chats, parents, or even mutual friends between you and your significant other can affect how you and your partner handle things. Without the opinions of others, we are more likely to focus just on one another’s decisions instead of going to other people for counsel before handling the issue. Of course, other people can be helpful. It’s best in most cases to ask your partner straight up, and be open with them rather than closing off, and allowing everyone but them to know how you feel.
“I mean you’ll always want to listen to your parents about what they think or about their advice, but ultimately I think it kinda comes down to what the person feels,” Stoddard said.
Relationships aren’t meant to be defined, but rather experienced without too many external factors including social media, other people, and the clarity. The lack of clarity in our relationships nowadays is crippling to what experiencing affection from another person is like. So much so, that it’s affecting our birth rates, and marriage rates. This isn’t just about a generation and its effects, it’s a national problem unless we do something about it.
Go to this website to learn more about the decreasing marriage in birth rates in the US.
https://www.ncregister.com/news/the-marriage-crisis-driving-america-s-fertility-decline
